5 steps to Double C’s “Confident Children”

How confident are our children? How do we measure confidence? Do we even know the signs to a confident child?

I’d like to focus on Boys particularly. We all know that boys are harder to deal with in a woman’s perspective. We show them all the love possible and focus much on their emotional needs, but our we doing what’s right for them? are they developing to be confident and self efficient, or are they simply becoming too attached and needy?

Having read many articles that prove that which I’ve experienced my self growing up, that children develop more confidence having a male role model around them. Specially boys hence they’re to be that future man. If we look at the animal kingdom we come to find that this nature is true, for instance the baby male cub will grow to do just what a male lion is to and the female cub will learn from the female.

How do we increase our boys confidence?

Step 1

Tough love – It is very important for a woman not to give into her emotions. Young boys will feed from that and use that weakness against us.

Step 2

Responsibilities – We all know that we mothers are extremely over protective and we always have our kids back, giving our young boys responsibilities will make them feel that they’re returning trust back and that they’re taking control of the household which is something they’ll have to do in the future. A brief example my 6 year old might one day annoy or push around his younger sister. How should we intervene in such situation? The temptation here is to shout at him, when a better option is to make him feel responsible for his sister by telling him that he needs to protect her and take care of her hence she is younger in age. We all know that at such young age he’s not able to protect in truth but this will indeed motivate him to do so in the future and to be there for her as they become younger adults.

Step 3

Do not tell him off in front of people – We know children make mistakes and thus learn from them. How do we best teach them without making them feel more restricted to express themselves than others? Which leads to a decline of confidence around people. What should a mother do in a scenario where her child might have hit someone else’s? The most common mistake made is telling your child off in front of the other child or parent which will directly empower the other child, when in truth we don’t know the full story and we forget how dramatic children can be. The best way of dealing with this situation is by calling your child over and ignoring the event that just happened, from that you ask the crying child if he/she is ok without allowing the other child to complain about your own, compliment him/her and talk to his/her mother in a friendly manner. When you’re alone with your child, comes the parenting. We start asking what happened, from there you advise on how could that scenario have been improved and what conduct your child should have instead taken. This will grant and develop trust and maturity for his future, to think before acting.

Step 4

Encourage group work – Ensure your children solve problems together whether by means of play, communication or homework, allow children to discuss their answer and back up their arguments. Never tell them they’re wrong but rather asked them to improve, you may aid during this process. This teaches them to be able to back up arguments, show understanding and most importantly develops confidence in public speaking. This is healthy and important for academic purposes especially.

Step 5

If you’re a single mother, widowed or in a distant relationship it’s very important that you allow the child to spend time with his father in a weekly basis. If for any reason this is not available nor feasible it’s a must that you expose your boy to a good role model within you family. This could be brothers, cousins or any other male trustee. You would be surprised how much that child will learn.

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SCHOOL starts at HOME

Sufficient research proves that students who are helped at home by their parents or tutors make most progress in school. Therefore I would argue that schools normally provide the guidance on what to teach as opposed to making “the big impact”. I find that if you’re not doing your part at home the likeliness of your child benefitting from that taught in school is actually little. Thus I hold in opinion that there’s no point to those parents with the time and ability to home-school to take their children to school. I’ve made the brave move to home-school my 8 year old daughter and 6 year old son hence I have the time and ability to do so.

I would like to share some of the work my kids are working on. I will happily upload pictures or videos of their maths work once you’ve told me What your thoughts are? Please leave your comments below. It would be interesting to see if you still hold your view after my uploads.

TIC TAC TOE HOW TO SAVE A DIME

Money, the one thing we chase the most and can’t live without. We are all familiar with the  famous saying “money is not everything” but in truth without it we may face many difficulties. The world is designed to evolve around money and it’s very difficult not to be part of this world and chase it. We’ve all been in that situation where we spend without thinking and end up with surprises in our letter box. From missed electricity, gas and phone line bills to taxes from the council, road tax and car insurance invoices. 


I aim to give some ideas on how to best save in order to avoid falling in that same mistake over again of asking your loved ones for that last minute help. If you struggle and have only one income coming in, whether that is a low paid job, if you’re on benefits or you’ve got a higher paid job but your outgoings are hard to handle, I feel that the tips I’ll be sharing with you will benefit you under any circumstance.


Jam-iyah or hiqbat 

The following terms are used by Middle eastern and East Africans to refer to groups of people that congregate money and share it in turns. I would like to explain this in more depth. This consists of e.g. 12 people putting a monthly total of 20 pounds each for the whole year, which equates to a total £240, now based on needs the leader of the group will decide who takes the money in each month. This is beneficial because you may enter two or three Jam-iyahs one for each need. i.e. Gas and electric, car insurance and kids activities. The purpose of this is for you as an individual not to over spend, this forces you to keep focused on paying this £20 pounds each month.

How does this benefit those who my have more money?  The answer is simple, they’ll be joining Jam-iyahs that take more monthly instalments for instance £300 a month each. This has helped people buy new cars without the need to take loans with interest from the bank, and in some extreme cases houses have been bought also using this method of lending. 


Look for bargains constantly:

I would consider shopping from the cheaper supermarkets, such as Aldi and Lidl. Never be ashamed of saving and been smarter. Research has shown that middle to upper class people shop from these supermarkets and that does with lower income tend to go to Tesco and other supermarkets with similar prices, they  feel the need to due to pressure of showing they’re equal and able. You’ve got nothing to prove to anyone there’s nothing wrong in saving. In fact the person that deserves to be laughed at is the one paying more when it can be bought for less. 

Another method I find that works really well is enjoying regular visits to car boot. How many times do we buy clothes for our children that are wore once or twice before they’re too small? How many times do we buy new clothes that rip after a wear or two? Car-boot is a fantastic way of saving by buying clothes that are used in everyday wear. Additionally you can buy books , toys, house decorations etc.. 

Finally I’d like to summarise with this. We should buy new stuff but only for special occasions and not everyday wear and tear. 

I really hope this helps you as it helped me as I am in a better position financially.

Hi my name is Hiba Maha and iam here to lay down the reality of parenting, here it goes; firstly there is no such thing as perfect family or perfect child ect.., to be honest we all just go along with it and learn from our mistakes. So STOP!!!giving yourself a hard time and stop comparing yourself to other parents. know that each family operates differently just like how our 10 fingers are not the same ect..so enjoy and laugh at those moments when life turns into a big zoo, because amongst that hectic crazy moments is when you find strength and memories of lifetime.